Thursday, February 20, 2025

FRAGMENTS : 2



Far Away, Far Far Away

Far Away from Earth

Far Away from our Sun (psst: which, actually, is a Star - lol)

Far Away from our Galaxy

Far Away into the Yonder

Where no light can peep into the deepest Soul of Darkness

Where molten Mercury keeps afloat continents of brawn

With Rivers of Lead criss-crossing their putrid vastness

Still, Still only as Still can be

Where Time is lost in endless Waiting

(Where Day is actually Night, and Night remains Night - lol)

Where even the wrathful Eye of the One (the Master Puppeteer he is) cannot Fall

Without Creation and so Without Destruction

Without beginning and so Without End

In that Immensity

Oh, Imagination

You are, and so, the Universe is.

FRAGMENTS 1.

 



1. 

You walk in to the Inferno 

And walk out a toasted soul, devoid of flesh

You drown in an ancient sea 

And walk out a bloated body, devoid of soul 


2. 

Love and longing 

A fish cast on the sands 

Futile twitches that take you nowhere 

 

3. 

Memory and Forgetfulness


By the banks of Lethe 

Watching 

Wave after wave 

Wash over the mossy stone 

Turning it to pure black void 

 

4. 

When the struggling song leaves the soul,

Unsung, unheard 

What is left is bliss

 

The sheer joy of existence 

Pure, animal like being 

The human transcends to be the spirit...

 

***

Wednesday, February 5, 2025

Wisdom



“Desire,” said the Buddha, looking deep into his navel, “is the root of all sorrow.” Bind me with a thousand fetters of love, said the bearded bard from Bengal.

Where does one find happiness? What indeed is happiness? Being in harmony with ourselves? Being in harmony with the immediate world of our life? Everyone has a different scale for happiness. What matters to one is insignificant to the other.

Watch a tender leaf come alive with the first ray of the sun on it. Hear the contained murmur of the stream underneath. Watch a contented bird rest after the day’s meal has been taken. Know the post coital nonchalance of a baboon. Indulge in the deep blue moonshine. Open up every orifice to let in the world deep into the being.

Life is to be lived. Do not carry it on your head.

***


 

when God came travelling with a lunch box

 



there was a time in my life when i was a teacher. my becoming was more accidental than intentional. and since i had never intended to be a teacher, i didn’t possess the most essential of degrees – a Bachelors in Education. not that a degree would make anyone a better teacher. 


so, after drifting around, i decided to get a ‘distant’ degree. and Annamalai in Chidambaram was the most apt of places to get it. 


during the year of my course, i had to be there for around 10 days, for a contact class session. more than the classes, what i remembered was my saunters along the streets of Chidambaram, as well as the temple around which the town seems to have been built. 


the temples of Tamilnadu awe you with their magnificence.    


after staying for the mandatory days, it was time to pack up. 
and i got into the general unreserved compartment of a train to Trichy, from where i was supposed to continue my journey to the school in Karnataka where i worked. 


it was a small compartment, with just a few bench like seats that were largely unoccupied. apart from me there was a person, a casual worker in his uniform, who was obviously going to his work place. and another man who had been in the train when we boarded. 


it was then a woman crawled in. she was so skinny you wondered if she were just bones. and, if you will forgive the expression, she was very dirty. she was dressed in tatters that were worn out thin. and she was cursing everyone she could lay her eyes on, in the compartment, outside..


she’s mad, whispered the man who had been in the compartment before me, moving a little more farther.


then something happened. the worker got up from his seat, took out the lunch box he had been carrying, opened it, and placed it before the ranting woman – all without a word.


the light that shone in the woman’s eye at that moment was indescribable. she grabbed the lunch box that was laid out before and started gobbling it up as if she had never eaten anything all her life. 


after finishing off, she just left the lunch box there and moved to another corner and huddled up. she had stopped her rant.


and the man who had given her the only lunch he might have had on that day, collected the lunch box without any special ex-pression, washed it clean, and tucked it back in his bag and resumed his watch by the window seat.


the train had started moving, the temple town was receding, and the green shady fields spread out like a canvas outside. 


i felt a glow pervade the compartment, and life was not what it was when i had boarded the compartment.

***


what are you, my dear

 


what are you, my dear?
a dream i dream up 
to keep myself afloat?
a shadow i relentlessly follow
seeking my own substance?
my pain, my balm

what are you, my dear?
an illusion of reality? or
a real illusion?
a mirage
tempting me to the very end
of the horizon?
my sorrow, my bliss

now here, now there, nowhere
vanishing, disappearing in streaks
of blinding light
when the sight clears
darkness again

the mind
now aflame
now stilled and frozen
now gripping, now slipping
a never ending torment of chaos


a broken kite in flight…

***


waves of life

 


when was the last time you rode the waves of success?


rising to meet the stars with the cusp
the wind of adulation deafening the ear
blinding lights of the sun close in the eye 
like an Icarus, rising up.. up..

in a never ending high

to meet your destiny, up above the world…

 

alas, the sea waits at the fall end of the wave


arms adrift in the lazy haze of a brazen day
all knowing and seeing

a chuckle hidden in the depths of silence
where shoals of bright vibrant lives
swim about in their business of living


brief and intense
oblivious to the sunny spread above..

what has gone up should come down


it is good to know the landing place
before the skies dizzy you…

***


the singer thinks he is the song

 


there was this singer*. for three decades he reigned over his fiefdom, unparalleled, unchallenged. 

his voice was what animated the greatest heroes, lend them their heroics, romance, philosophy, politics and pathos. and he did justice to all. nobody grudged his position, because nobody felt it was undeserving. 


every tree has to shed its leaves, branches, glory. so came our singer’s time of wane. his voice was less heard. in fact voices ceased to matter, as machines took over. but the songs continued.


there grew a generation who didn’t know the singer. who did not pause for the burden of his song.
slowly oblivion crept in, and the singer became just another face embossed on antique collections. 


but the singer was very much alive, and missed his glory. his frequent reminders went unnoticed. and the agony of slipping into the sunset of memory unsung must have taunted his steely nerves.


the newspapers carried a small story of an aborted self termination bid. was its inconsequential nature that made a legend’s truncation attempts unworthy of news? or was it a consideration not to tarnish the past glory?

we should be graceful in exit. lime lights are not eternal. ripe fruits fall, and the younger ones take their place. the world keeps re inventing itself in endless cyclic repetitions. 


actors change, the act goes on. singers change, the song is endless.
trouble is when the singer starts believing that he is the song.

* on a legendary singer in the Tamil movie industry who allegedly tried to end his life. 

***


the same moon

 



the night was well past its prime. it was late bed time for me. as is wont, i check the room where my daughters sleep. making sure that all is well. preferring open spaces, they always have their windows open. but the mother was more worried about the early morning dewy cold that came in stealthy and spread moistness all around. and, the mosquitoes – the place we lived in were havens for them. 

i leaned across their beds to close the windows. it was a sight well worth a thousand births. the clear moonlight was literally overflowing. as if the whole world was covered with wet ash. not a leaf moved. not a bird fluttered. the whole world seemed to have sunk deep into slumber. and i wondered…

this moon must have overwhelmed my past generations. this moon would bathe my daughters’ lineage ad infinitum. and every time the night opens up its charms to a sleeping world, the wakeful hearts would remain transfixed in beauteous glow. wet shining eyes beholding a wet shiny landscape.

lives appear and disappear with every spin of the axis.

like the river, like the mountains, like the sun, the moon remains untouched – a perennial source of cold silent inspirations…

***


sometimes..

 



Sometimes on a lonely night

 

When the stars above wrap themselves in the gossamer of a misty dream

When darkness stretches out under obtusely thick woods in languor

When the plaintive cry of another solitary bird pierces the
fortified silence of slumber

My heart pumps a sudden surge of remembrance…

 

The agony and ecstasy of a forgotten life.. lived through
again, in the fullness of a flashing moment

 

A single searing moment of passion blooming a million
flowers on your body

 

Small shiny and fragrant

My paradise in spring

 

I had lived my life

In the deserts of sun scorched days

Feeding on mirages

 

Fingers like roots clawing deep into the dry womb

Seeking the wetness of compassion

That can grow my shoots green again


I had lived my life

In the deafening clutter of noisy chaos

Seeking the imagined strain of a remembered note

 

When silence wrapped itself around the flow of the song

Like hands wrapping a tender shoot


Sometimes deep into noon

 

When the sun lies in wait for the weary soul to step into
the molten sea of heat

Draining him dry like a fearless blood thirsty vampire

 

When white vapours from a heaving earth reaches outward to
the blank friendless ether

 

My heart longs for the deep silent shades of your grotto

Where the gurgle of underground streams and songs of  invisible birds

Colour the walls of blissful memory


I wander the wasted shores of a paradise that was never to
be

with worn feet and wind gnawed body

 

But the heart still carries you

Like a dainty dried up petal treasured between forgotten folios

 

Smooth and fragrant, still

 

***


self realisation

 


what is me?
the shapeless shadow crisscrossing my way?
dull opaque mass of black
now stretched like a band 
now rolling in a ball
a restless fiend on the run

what is me?
the bloated pride in the mirror?
full of wind, void of kernel
a hollow hide in the sun

what is me?
inane dreams of distraught wit
weaving, weaving strands of sand
dark, ominous flights of fancy
useless baggage by the ton

***


ponderings, on a half filled tea cup

 


what is knowledge? the silence between words?
what is light? a hiatus in darkness?
what is peace? the lull between storms?
what is sound? the bridge between silent isles?
what is life? a flare from burning wood?
what is death? a return to dust?

what is truth? what is falsehood?
where does one begin? where does one end?


life goes on 
in the stillness of the leaf on an idling afternoon
in the shut eyes of a snoozing cat
in the effervescent patch of cloud against the burning skies


the answer is sought in vain


those who know never speak
and those who speak never know
says the Zen.

***


A Fistful of Memories


memories

like dinosaurs stalking a primeval earth

memories

like waves washing the barren stretch of sands, again and again

memories

like camphor in a clenched fist, melting fragrance

 

memories

like idling clouds drifting across an azure sky

memories

like floating butter in milk

memories

like ink in a crystal bowl of water

 

memories my dear

that soothe, haunt, make me long

bitter sweet sour salty

like the sweat on you

beaded pearly magnificence

 

memories my love

of a life not lived

of a moment saved for eternity

of hope filled despair

of dreamed colours and contentment

 

memories memories memories

that become formless food for the fumbling ants

as crows pick my burnt bones….

 

***




 

madness



bursts of blinding black 


brown roots up in the air gasping for breath 

as the green lies buried deep in the infinite depths of foetal plasma

 

swirling sandstorms combing clean

forgotten islets of desire

 

oceans reaching for the stars with wet foamy flappy hands

deafening din of music flying off the blank pages of a frozen orchestra

pounding beating 
rapidly swirling swishing closing in black chaos

time frozen in the endless stretch of a moment

then,

calm reigns
the eclipse is past…

***

 

living it out

 


when have we lived this life, my dear?
in the first sparks of a coveted touch?
in the momentary oblivion of an impassioned kiss?
in the blissful harmony of melting passion
welded bodies in unified perception..

when have we lived this life, my dear?
in the first kick of a dainty foot in your swollen belly?
in the first cry of infant helplessness?
in the first word spoken, in the first step taken
to a long extension of our life…

when have we lived this life, my dear?
in the unspoken spells of intense moments
clutching each other as one’s own life
sailing through eternity
rudderless sailess 
afloat the vast wilderness of strange waters…

when have we lived this life, my dear?
in the fiery moments of wounded complacence?
in the ashen remains of washed out dreams?
walled in the fortress of self righteousness
the ennui of mere existence bonding dissimilar matter
days and nights lived out in the blandness of empty moments

every moment has a tale
every tale has an end
 
and, every end has a beginning

life, my dear, is the sum total of ourselves
not a grain more, not a grain different
may the obscured hearts shine again….

***


living and not living

 



i remember a story from a school text book. it was about a king who fell ill. it was a mysterious illness, which nobody could cure him of. a message was sent across the world that anyone who could cure the king would be handsomely rewarded. a failure to cure would result in summary execution – that was how it was, i guess. finally, one wise man suggested a cure – the king should wear the shirt of a carefree man, with no worries at all. after searching across the length and breadth of the land for such a person, they ultimately came across a beggar who fit the bill of a ‘carefree man’ perfectly. he was laughing the heartiest laughter that was ever laughed. but he had no shirt, not even a piece of clothing on him. the king was made to realise the folly of his thousand imagined illnesses and he was never ill again; so ends the story.

and another poem – i dont remember the lines. or the poet. it was something about the poet’s wish for a perfect life. and a perfect death. he ends up with his wish for a perfect burial. i remember the last line well – ‘and not a stone tell where i lie.’
on one side there is this truth of life – that real happiness is not what we really suppose it to be. that happiness comes from being detached, being unknown, very ordinary. 
on the other side we have the thousand invisible strong threads that bind us to the business of everyday life. where a thousand pangs and passions wreak havoc on the tender soul. 
where lies the middle path of salvation?
a ping pong tossed between the extremes of attachment and detachment?
does one live in indulgence? or in renunciation?

 

but then, 
what worth is life if one cannot live at least one full intense moment?

burn fully, even if for a moment

before the wind scatters you


a fistful of dry ashes.

***